Cyberbullying: What Parents Need to Know

Children today are growing up in a world where technology is a part of everyday life. Phones, tablets, social media, online games, and group chats can be wonderful ways for children to connect with friends, express themselves, and have fun. But unfortunately, these same platforms can also become places where bullying happens.

Unlike traditional bullying, cyberbullying does not necessarily stop when a child leaves school. A hurtful message, embarrassing picture, or mean comment can follow a child home and may be seen by many people in a matter of minutes.

At Alora Therapy and Wellness Center, we believe that creating a safe and supportive environment for children starts with understanding what they are experiencing. That includes understanding their digital world and knowing how to recognize when something may be wrong.

What Is Cyberbullying?

Cyberbullying is bullying that takes place through digital technology. It can happen through social media, text messages, online gaming communities, messaging apps, and other digital platforms.

According to UNICEF, cyberbullying can include spreading rumors or lies, sharing embarrassing photos or videos, sending hurtful or threatening messages, creating fake accounts to impersonate someone, or engaging in sexual harassment online.

One reason cyberbullying can be especially difficult for children is that it can feel like there is no escape. A child may leave school and still receive hurtful messages on their phone or see posts about themselves online.

It is also important to remember that not every disagreement or unkind interaction is necessarily bullying. However, if a child is repeatedly being targeted, humiliated, threatened, or made to feel unsafe online, it is important to take the situation seriously.

How Common Is Cyberbullying?

Cyberbullying is more common than many parents may realize.

According to the National Center for Education Statistics, during the 2021–22 school year, 19.2% of students ages 12–18 reported being bullied at school. Among students who reported being bullied, 21.6% reported being bullied online or by text. The percentage was higher among girls (27.7%) than boys (14.1%).

These numbers remind us that bullying does not only happen in the classroom, hallway, or playground. For many children, their online experiences are an important part of their social lives—and that means parents and caregivers need to be aware of what is happening there, too.

What Does Cyberbullying Look Like?

Cyberbullying may not always be obvious to an adult. It can happen privately through direct messages or publicly through social media posts and comments.

Some examples include:

• Spreading rumors or lies about another child

• Sharing embarrassing pictures or videos

• Sending hurtful, threatening, or abusive messages

• Creating fake accounts to impersonate someone

• Purposely leaving a child out of online groups or conversations

• Posting embarrassing information about a child

• Using social media or other platforms to repeatedly humiliate someone

• Engaging in sexual harassment or inappropriate online behavior

UNICEF also explains that cyberbullying can leave a digital footprint, meaning there may be a record of messages, posts, images, or other interactions that can help adults understand what happened.

How Can Parents Recognize the Warning Signs?

Sometimes children will tell their parents when something is wrong. Other times, they may not know how to explain what is happening—or they may be afraid that telling an adult will make the situation worse.

This is why paying attention to changes in your child's behavior can be so important.

The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services identifies several warning signs that may indicate a child is experiencing bullying or cyberbullying. These can include:

• A noticeable increase or decrease in device use, including texting

• Becoming emotional while using a device

• Hiding their screen or device when others are nearby

• Avoiding conversations about what they are doing online

• Social media accounts being shut down or new accounts appearing

• Avoiding social situations, they previously enjoyed

• Becoming withdrawn or depressed

• Losing interest in people or activities they previously enjoyed

It is important to remember that these signs do not automatically mean a child is being cyberbullied. Changes in behavior can happen for many different reasons. However, they can be an opportunity to slow down, check in, and ask your child how they are doing.

What Can Parents Do If They Suspect Cyberbullying?

If you think your child may be experiencing cyberbullying, it can be difficult to know what to say or do first. You may feel angry, worried, or unsure of how to help.

StopBullying.gov, a resource of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, recommends five important steps for responding to cyberbullying: Notice, Talk, Document, Report, and Support.

Notice

Pay attention to changes in your child's mood, behavior, friendships, and technology use. If something seems different, take a moment to check in.

Talk

Create a space where your child feels comfortable telling you what is happening. Try asking questions such as, "Has anything happened online that has been bothering you?" or "How have things been going with your friends?"

Most importantly, listen. Your child needs to know that they will not be blamed for what happened. StopBullying.gov recommends that parents keep conversations open and honest and give children opportunities to talk about their experiences.

Document

If cyberbullying is occurring, save screenshots, messages, posts, usernames, and other relevant information. StopBullying.gov recommends keeping a record of what is happening and taking screenshots of harmful posts or content when possible. Documentation can be helpful when reporting the behavior.

Report

Depending on the situation, you may need to report the behavior to the social media platform, gaming platform, school, or another appropriate adult. If your child receives threats of violence or there is potentially criminal behavior involved, it may also be necessary to contact law enforcement.

The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services also recommends that parents and caregivers report cyberbullying and online abuse or exploitation.

Support

Your child may need more than help stopping the online behavior. They may also need support processing how the experience made them feel.

Remind your child:

"You did the right thing by telling me."

"You are not alone."

"What happened to you is not your fault."

HHS recommends that parents create healthy technology boundaries, encourage in-person friendships, teach children about responsible technology use, and help children report cyberbullying and online abuse.

A Final Reminder 

Technology is not going away—and our children are learning how to navigate it every day.

Our goal should not simply be to keep children away from technology. Instead, we can teach them how to use it safely, recognize unhealthy behavior, ask for help, and treat others with kindness both online and in person.

And when something does go wrong, remind your child that coming to you is never something they should be afraid to do.

At Alora Therapy and Wellness Center, we are here to support children and families as they navigate the challenges of growing up in today's world.